


Second Rule: Spies Don’t Think About Their Pasts

by bilgegungoren00



Series: Rules of Being A Spy [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, F/M, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple, spy AU, undercover Karamel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 23:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11474172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: How exactly had she gotten so unlucky to be assigned to another mission that included him? Because the chance of that happening was way too low for this to be a coincidence.Or, in which Kara bumps into Mon-El in another mission after five years of not seeing him.Karamel Spy AU - Part 2





	Second Rule: Spies Don’t Think About Their Pasts

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Honestly, I have no idea how I'm writing these so fast, but I love this AU so much that it all comes to me. And, well, who am I to complain, right? Lol :)
> 
> Also, I would really suggest you to read the previous story in the series before this one, because there are a bunch of details and references to it that you might struggle to understand without it. Just wanted to let you know :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this!

Kara straightened up her navy blue dress as she stopped in front of the short building, looking up to see the name and make sure she was in the right place. This was where the address in the mission file showed; a psychological treatment facility named _Bleuler,_ which Kara discovered on the way here was the name of some psychiatrist.

_Really original name,_ she couldn’t help thinking as she took out the file from her bag. She was supposed to be meeting one Doctor Mike Matthews, who was apparently working here as a psychiatrist for about four years, to find out about one of his patients: Chloe DeFleur, whom the CIA suspected to be the agent that had gone rogue many years ago, Eve Tessmacher. Kara had taken the mission upon herself when she saw the name, as she was one of the agents that worked with Tessmacher from time to time; she would not have a hard time recognizing her. Which was exactly why she was here in the first place: She’d go into Doctor Matthews’s office as a patient, flirt her way into drugging him, and find Chloe’s file to ID her. And if she did turn out to be Eve, then capture her. It was such a simple mission that the CIA didn’t even bother to send in someone else with her.

And besides, when it came to seducing people, she was one of the best agents out there.

She looked through the doctor’s file once again—there was barely anything about him, not even a photo—before tucking it into her bag, plastering a huge smile on her face, as she strolled in. _Here we go,_ she couldn’t help thinking as she pulled her already short dress up. Doctor Matthews wouldn’t know what hit him.

She checked the time once she was inside the facility to see that she was almost right on time before she walked to the reception, not wanting to waste any time. She pulled on the long sleeve of her dress to hide the tranq darts wrapped around right below her elbow before she sent the receptionist a dazzling smile.

From the way the girl—Roxanne, according to her nametag—looked at her, her eyes traveling up and down her dress, she could see that she had an effect on even her.

“Welcome to the Bleuler Psychological Treatment Facility,” Roxanne said as she put aside her work and smiled at Kara. “How can I help you?”

“Hi, Roxanne,” Kara said cheerfully, a bit too cheerfully for normal she supposed—well, she was acting as a _patient_ —as she extended her hand to the woman over the counter. “Nice to meet you! You’ve got one nice facility here.” Her smile widened at that as she played with the necklace dangling from her neck, highlighting her low neckline. Roxanne blushed slightly as she cleared her throat.

“Well, thank you very much, Miss…”

“Jones,” Kara finished her sentence as she dug into her bag and pulled out an ID card. The fake ID that she’d used to get the appointment, since she couldn’t very well use her real name. If Chloe was really Eve, she’d probably find it out and disappear before they could lay a hand on her. “Elly Davena Jones,” she told her full name as she extended the ID card to the woman. “But you can call me El.” A wink at that, and Roxanne blushed again as she took the ID card. And Kara had her in her claws. She hadn’t known the receptionist was a lesbian—she hadn’t particularly checked on that—yet that turned out to be a nice coincidence. The less clearly Roxanne thought, the better.

Kara put a fake frown on her face as she took out her phone. “And it seems like I have an appointment with one…Doctor Matthews?” she said, lifting her head, as if she just read the name from her phone. “Right now?” Roxanne checked something on the computer in front of her before she smiled and nodded.

“Yes, that’s right,” she confirmed as she returned Kara’s ID. “Please wait here for a couple of moments, and I’ll let you know when Doctor Matthews is ready to see you.” With that Kara flashed another charming smile at Roxanne, making sure their fingers brushed together as she took back her ID.

“Thank you very much, Roxanne,” she beamed before she went to one of the seats to sit down and wait. She could almost feel Roxanne’s eyes on her, which made her smile again.

She barely sat down for a couple of minutes, going through her plan in her mind once again, before her name was called. Roxanne took her to Doctor Matthews’s office, offered her another smile, before she left. Kara took a deep breath and pushed open the office door without bothering to knock, knowing that would be something “Elly Davena Jones” would do, as she grinned from ear to ear.

“Hello—“ she started to say as she let the door close behind her…until she saw the person sitting behind the office table and came to a complete stop.

_No. That’s impossible._

Kara was a good agent. Nobody could deny that. She’d been to so many undercover missions that she practically knew how to handle unexpected situations by now—and there had been a lot of them. She usually managed to maintain her cover, and did it beautifully, no matter what happened. But now…this… She was _not_ prepared for something like this, something this _big,_ as she felt her smile and the mask of Elly Davena Jones slip off of her face. Because it was him. It was the person that she’d tried her best to forget for the last few years, the person that still haunted her in sleep every now and then, the person she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about when as a spy, she shouldn’t even be pondering on her past. But when it came to _him_ … All the rules about being a spy seemed to be thrown out the window.

_Mon-El Gand._

How was he here? Or a better question, _why_ was he here? She knew… She knew, from what Alex said, that Mon-El had been given a new ID and moved to a new place for his protection after her reassignment five years ago, yet… Yet that mission had been over for about three years. The CIA managed to find the bioweapon—it turned out that Lena gave it to Mon-El discreetly inside a ballerina box she had from her childhood—and Lillian had been sent to prison. Why hadn’t he returned to his old life? Why was he still here? Why was he still Mike Matthews? And how exactly had she gotten so unlucky to be assigned to _another_ mission that included him? Because the chance of that happening was way too low for this to be a coincidence. Was this the universe’s way of mocking her?

All of her thoughts scattered away when Mon-El looked up and froze, just as she had been for the last couple of moments as she stood by the door. His mouth dropped open as he blinked once, and then twice, as if struggling to process that she was there. The file in his hand dropped on the table as he took off his glasses—they must be a part of his new identity—and looked over her again.

“ _Kara_?” Kara was at a loss of words as his voice hit her hard. The voice she’d sometimes heard in her dreams. Smooth, silky, soft, beautiful… Yet her dreams didn’t even compare to the real thing. In fact, her dreams hadn’t done him justice in… _anything._ Not his bright grey-blue eyes, not his dark brown hair, not the lines of his face or his scruff, and certainly not the way his plaid shirt stretched over his muscles…

She forced herself to stop staring at him and snapped her eyes up to his. “Mon-El?” she whispered as she stepped forward, her grip on the strap of her bag tight. She’s forgotten all about the mission as she shook her head. She couldn’t find anything to say, especially when she saw the way Mon-El’s eyes traveled on her, her very low neckline, short skirt, and long legs, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

But this time, he wasn’t the only one blushing.

He managed to turn his gaze away only a couple of seconds later and shut his eyes. “I’m hallucinating, right?” he asked, reaching up to his face as if to adjust his glasses, until he remembered he’d taken them off. He shook his head. “Great. I’m going crazy too. My mother was right when she said all psychologists went crazy eventually.” He was babbling to himself, his voice shaking, so much so that it almost broke Kara’s heart. She couldn’t help grimacing as she stepped forward, her brain finally managing to process that this was very much real.

“You’re not hallucinating,” she managed to whisper as she pressed her lips together, trying desperately to calm her thundering heart and scolding herself, because…because she just realized, as she looked at Mon-El, that the feelings she had for him hadn’t disappeared even though she hadn’t seen him for five years. They had come back, full force, when by now…by now they should be gone. Spies didn’t stay in their pasts. They moved on, no matter how hard it was they moved on. And yet…

It didn’t seem like she moved on at all.

Mon-El looked up at her with her words, almost tentatively, before he shook his head. “How are you here?” he asked, his voice hoarse and shaking. It seemed like he didn’t get better at lying or hiding his feelings in the last couple of years. Or maybe this was because of the shock of seeing her. “Shouldn’t you be…out there…chasing bioweapons or something? On a…mission?” He cleared his throat at that as Kara took another step forward, swallowing hard.

“This is my mission,” she whispered, wondering yet again how she ended up in another mission with him. “I am… I am Elly Davena Jones.” She stopped at that briefly, and the next words left her mouth without her intention. “And I’m… I’m supposed to be seducing you… _again.”_ Well, that plan was obviously thrown out the window since Mon-El knew who she was and he’d never believe her again, yet still, a part of her just wanted to laugh at all the coincidences piling up. But she couldn’t even muster a chuckle, even though it seemed like Mon-El wasn’t in the same situation. He laughed humorlessly as he leaned back on his chair.

“That must be the coincidence of the century,” he said, shaking his head with disbelief. Kara could just nod at that.

“Tell me about it.” She stared at him for another second before a laugh bubbled up her chest. This time she couldn’t stop herself as she shook her head, knowing hat laughing was probably not the best idea. She could feel Mon-El’s almost amused gaze on her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be… I shouldn’t be laughing at that,” she managed to say between her laugh. “It’s just…”

“A lot to take in,” Mon-El finished her words as he leaned forward. Kara could only nod, her shoulders relaxing a bit at his smile. “Yeah, trust me, you’re not alone in that.” She nodded at that, trying to stop herself from laughing more, before she took a deep breath.

“Anyway, now that my cover is obviously blown…” she started, gesturing at Mon-El and earning another smile from him, a smile that got her heart stuttering, “I’ll… I’ll better get out of your hair before I ruin the mission even more.” She was just about to step back and leave, even though a part of her pained at that thought, when Mon-El’s voice stopped her.

“Wait,” he said, so desperately that Kara couldn’t help turning back to him. She saw a blush creeping up his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “I know this probably wasn’t your plan for the mission, but…maybe I can still help?” He looked at the clock in his office. “There are still 50 minutes until _Elly’s_ appointment is over, so we have some time.” He looked back at Kara, pressing his lips nervously. “For old times’ sake?”

Kara knew she should say no to that. Not only that it was a bad, bad idea to involve civilians in missions or share secret information with them, but this was also Mon-El. The last thing she wanted was to involve him in anything spy related. Yet… Yet as she looked at the hopeful look in his eyes… She couldn’t just say no. She couldn’t leave when…when she’d missed him so much, because she knew leaving meant she’d never see him again, and she didn’t want that to happen. At least not yet. And also… She knew she could trust Mon-El with this mission. Despite everything he was a good and honest man, he would not only not share anything about the mission with anyone, but he’d also try to help any way he can. So she found herself sighing, even though she knew she shouldn’t, and stepped forward.

“Fine, okay,” she said as she dropped her bag on one of the chairs and sat on the other. The huge grin Mon-El flashed her at that almost made the decision worthy. He leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table.

“So what is this super secret mission about?” he asked almost secretively. “Bioweapons? Arms dealers?” Kara rolled her eyes at that, fighting a loving smile, before she sighed.

“First of all, it’s not a super secret mission, it’s a regular one at best. “And second of all, no, there aren’t bioweapons or arms dealers.” She couldn’t help chuckling at the way Mon-El’s shoulders deflated at that, as if he was saying, _but what is the fun in that?_ She took a deep breath. “It’s about one of your patients. Chloe DeFleur?” Mon-El frowned at that, getting serious as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s my patient.” He looked up at Kara. “What about her?” She grabbed her bag at that to take out a photo of Eve Tessmacher to show him.

“We believe that she is one of our agents that have gone rogue a couple of years ago. Eve Tessmacher.” She took the piece of paper from her bag. “I came here to find her file and ID her…which was the reason I was gonna seduce you.” She cleared her throat when she saw him arch his brow. “So that I could drug you and search your office.” She could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks when she saw his eyes widen. He huffed as he scratched his cheek.

“Wow. Okay. I’m glad we didn’t go down that road.” Kara couldn’t help chuckling as she nodded.

“Yeah, me too,” she said right before handing Mon-El Eve’s photo. “This is her.” He only took one glance at the photo before looking up.

“That’s Chloe,” he confirmed. Kara couldn’t help smiling at herself before he continued. “So you’re telling me that a rogue CIA agent has been my patient for a year now?”

“Well…” she said as she took the photo from him. “Kind of?” A smile pulled his lips at that. “But thank you for the information. Now I just need to figure out a way to take her in.” She was muttering to herself as she tucked the photo inside her bag, trying to figure out a way to get Eve, and right as she was about to ask Mon-El if she had an appointment soon he started speaking.

“Well, she’s really secretive about any personal information,” he said, “so I don’t know her address or anything, but she invited me to a gala tonight.” He reached for her drawer and pulled put what looked like an invitation. “I might be able to get you in there…if you think you can get to her.” Kara took the invitation from Mon-El as she assessed the risks. It would be a crowded place, which meant there could be casualties, but it would also mean that Eve wouldn’t be able to cause a big scene if she didn’t want to be discovered. If she could get close to her, she could take her without much trouble.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” she said with a nod. “I could pose as your girlfriend until I…” The spy part of her brain had been thinking so far ahead that she hadn’t realized what she said for a second. And then her eyes snapped up, wide, as she felt a blush creep up her cheeks. It didn’t help that Mon-El’s gaze was wide too. “I mean, of course if you’re up for it. You don’t have to… I’d understand if it was…awkward, and—“

“I’ll do it,” Mon-El cut her words as he gulped and nodded. He straightened up to ease the tension in his shoulders. “I’ll… I’ll get you in there as my girlfriend, and then…and then you can do your…thingamajig.” Kara could barely choke out a chuckle at that as she nodded. She cleared her throat.

“It seems like we’ll be playing boyfriend girlfriend again,” she tried to joke, yet it felt too dry even to her ears. Mon-El forced a smile at that and nodded.

“It seems like it.” And as his eyes traveled on Kara, she couldn’t help thinking that… Tonight would be an interesting night.

* * *

Kara was busy adjusting the strap around her thigh, which was holding three knives, when someone knocked on the door of her hotel room. She felt her heart skip as her eyes snapped up to look at the clock. 18:27. Mon-El was early.

Well, technically he was only three minutes early, which could be counted as on time, but that didn’t mean she felt ready. She straightened up, adjusting the bodice of her long gown and making sure her hair was straight before she took a deep breath. She looked good, she knew that. Dazzling, even. Makeup and hair… She’d mastered them throughout the years, as looks were half of acting, especially if you needed to sell a role. And she needed to sell the role of Dr. Matthews’s rich and elegant girlfriend.

Well, she added the rich part later as she didn’t even want to know how much her gown costed, but still…

She knew, deep down, it didn’t really matter how she looked or what she wore, to an extent. It was just a one night mission. Go in, grab Eve, get out, leave. That was it. Yet… Yet a part of her…a foolish girly part… _wanted_ to look good, not to sell her cover, but…

For Mon-El. She wanted to look good for Mon-El. She’d never admit that, especially not to him considering nothing really could happen between them, but that didn’t change the truth.

She quickly shook off those thoughts as she grabbed her purse, which didn’t have anything inside except her wallet and a gun, and went to get the door. “I’m coming!” she announced right as her hand wrapped around the handle, and she managed to open the door at her second try when she couldn’t stop the shakiness in her hands.

She had no idea she was holding her breath until she came face to face with Mon-El, and the air in his lungs get hitched in her throat. This time she totally forgot breathing as she took him in. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a white shirt underneath and a red tie, and… Okay, Kara had not forgotten how good he looked in a suit, but still… _Damn._ That was all she could think of as she stared at him and the…the bouquet of white roses in his hand.

Though, as she realized when she finally managed to look at his face that he wasn’t in a different situation. His lips were parted as his eyes traveled on her, taking her in, a flush creeping up his cheeks as his gaze lingered at her neckline. He only looked up when she cleared her throat.

“Hi,” she managed to croak out with a soft smile, reminding herself that she was a professional and couldn’t let himself get affected by a guy wearing a tuxedo. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re right on time.” Mon-El blinked several times as he gulped, as if he was trying to pull himself together.

“Ye-Yeah,” he whispered with a small nod. Kara couldn’t help smiling at how flustered he looked, at least before her eyes turned to the flowers in his hand. Flowers. _Roses._ Her heart skipped another beat as she gestured at them.

“What are the roses for?” she asked, even though…even though a part of her knew the answer. And she wished she didn’t, because getting flowers… It usually indicated at a romantic relationship, and that was the last thing that could happen between her and Mon-El.

Yet still, she couldn’t stop the fluttering in her stomach when he extended the flowers to her. He cleared his throat. “These are…um…these are for you,” he said with a nervous laugh. “I saw the florist on my way here, and…and thought that it would be a good idea to get you roses, since that is usually what boyfriends do, right?”

He tried to shrug jokingly, almost nonchalantly, to indicate that it was nothing. And it could’ve worked…if Kara wasn’t good at seeing through him. She could see that the roses obviously mattered to him, and…

She really didn’t know what to make of that. So she decided to ignore the little show of affection, write it off as a friendly gesture, before she grabbed the roses. She flashed him a genuine smile.

“These are beautiful, Mon-El. Thank you so much.” Mon-El could only muster a small smile as he nodded and tucked his hands to his pockets. “Let me put these in water, and then we can go.” Mon-El nodded at that again as Kara reentered her room.

It took her merely a minute to take care of the roses, placing them carefully on her bedside table, before she returned to Mon-El’s side. They both offered each other a shy smile before they left.

They hadn’t talked until they reached Mon-El’s car, yet Kara stole glances at him as the question that had been nagging her for hours returned. At first she’s decided to not ask it, not wanting to ruin…whatever was going on between her and Mon-El, yet the more time passed the more anxious not knowing the answer made her… Until she finally blurted out the question as Mon-El started the car.

“So you don’t hate me anymore?” He was so surprised that his hand froze hovering over the steering wheel as he turned to her. She bit her lip, cursing herself for the way she phrased the question.

“What are you talking about?” Mon-El asked as he completely faced her, the car forgotten. Kara gulped and shut her eyes before she answered.

“You…aren’t angry at me for what happened anymore? For what I did to you?” Because she knew he’d felt angry, and hurt, and betrayed…which he had that right of course. She’d pretended to be his girlfriend for months, she’d pretended to love him knowing he truly loved her. Of course he would be angry at that. In fact, Kara wouldn’t hold it against him if he never forgave her. But… But he didn’t act like he was still bitter about what happened. He was friendly at her, he was smiling at her and joking with her, hell, he even accepted to help her on a mission and offered to take her to a gala as his _girlfriend_. Granted, it was for the mission, but still… The way he was acting indicated that he’d forgiven her, and she wanted that to be true so badly that it even surprised her.

She slipped away from her thoughts with Mon-El’s genuine laugh. He shook his head. “Kara, you really don’t think that I’d still hold a grudge for something that happened five years ago, right?” He lifted his brow to show the ridiculousness of the idea. Kara could feel a crinkle forming between her brows.

“But I…” she started, struggling to find the right words. “I hurt you. I broke your heart and…and lied to you for months. How could you—“

“Hey.” Mon-El cut her words by putting a hand over hers. Kara momentarily forgot how to breathe at that gesture, at that small touch, so much so that she couldn’t do anything other than staring at their hands. At least until he started talking. “What you did wasn’t your choice, Kara. You were on a mission, you were just…doing the job CIA gave you. What you did had nothing to do with wanting to hurt me.” He shrugged almost too nonchalantly at that. “In fact, I should be the one apologizing for acting out like that.” Kara frowned and shook her head.

“Mon-El, you had every right to be angry,” she countered. He was the one that didn’t have any fault in what happened. He was just…just an innocent civilian who had been pulled into the world of spies, lies, and bioweapons. He didn’t deserve anything that had happened to him.

Yet all he did was lightly chuckle at her words and nod. “I know. And I was angry, I’d stayed angry at you for a long time, because you’d broken my heart.” Kara couldn’t help wincing at that, yet Mon-El just squeezed her hand supportively. “Until I realized there was no point in holding onto that anger and hate. Because at the end, even though it had not been real… I had some of my happiest months with you. And the memory of that happiness is something even a lie can’t take away from me. Besides, you’d also saved my life from Lillian Luthor’s men, so there’s also that.” Kara chuckled at that, even though emotions had clogged her throat at…at how understanding Mon-El was being about all of this. She never expected him to forgive her, and here he was, offering her not only forgiveness but also _understanding_ too. “So, Kara, you’re forgiven, okay? You don’t need to worry about that.” It took Kara everything he had to push the tears of happiness away and smile. She squeezed his hand back.

“Thank you.”

After that the conversation steered off to less personal topics as they made their way to the site of the gala. They went over their plan once more. Since there was a chance Eve might recognize Kara as a CIA agent, they would try to stay as far away from her as possible until they made sure she was alone, and then they would make their move. Mon-El would take her to a quiet place where Kara would be waiting. She’d drug Eve there and carry her to the car, feigning her passing out from alcohol if they bumped into anyone, and then get the hell out of there to hand Eve to CIA. This was where Kara and Mon-El would separate, as Kara doubted Director Henshaw would like the fact that she involved a civilian in her mission. Granted, this was Mon-El, who was nothing but “just a civilian”, but still… She wasn’t about to risk that.

They’d just finished going over the plan, which took a good fifteen minutes, when Mon-El stopped the car in front of a valet. “We’re here,” he announced before flashing her a smile, one that caused her heart to stutter, before exiting the car.

Kara took a deep breath and pulled herself together before she stepped out too, putting herself into mission mode, as she took Mon-El’s arm with a shy smile. Mon-El gave the car keys to a valet before he led her to the entrance.

“Have I told you how beautiful you looked?” he whispered to her ear right as they entered. Kara couldn’t help giggling and blushing at that as she shook her head. She decided to ignore the butterflies in the stomach and the way she didn’t even need to fake her blush as she glanced at her “fake” boyfriend.

“I bet you’d say that to any woman in this room,” she muttered under her breath as she looked around the room. She momentarily got distracter when Mon-El heartily laughed at that and shook his head.

“That would require me to _look_ at those women,” he said, making her turn to him as he extended a glass of champagne to her. “But you, Miss Jones, are the only one I have eyes for.” He winked at her playfully, and Kara found that smiling came way too easily at her at that gesture. She grabbed the glass of champagne from him.

“Well, thank you, Doctor Matthews,” she mused as she led him around the room, taking a small sip from her champagne before putting it away to keep a clear head. Her eyes swept around the room once more nonchalantly to find Eve, yet she turned back to Mon-El when she couldn’t. “I could say the same about you,” she continued, lifting her brow. The smile Mon-El offered her at that was bright enough to illuminate a whole city.

Yet she ignored that too—it seemed like she’d be ignoring a lot of things tonight—as she looked around the waiters and waitresses rushing around, people talking and laughing in small groups, dancing couples, to try and find Eve’s familiar blond curls. Her hair was so shiny that normally it would be easy to pick her out in a crowd…but not today, it seemed like.

“I can’t see her,” she whispered at Mon-El and turned to him, seeing that he downed half a glass of champagne. Her eyes widened at that as she grabbed his glass and put it on a tray.

“Hey!” he complained, yet the complaint died with her glare.

“Haven’t anyone told you that you shouldn’t drink on a spy mission?” she hissed at him, crossing her arms over her chest. He cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath, even though the glint in his eyes suggested that he wasn’t sorry at all. Kara rolled her eyes, deciding to let it go, before turning to the room again.

“I can’t see Eve,” she informed him. With that Mon-El squinted and looked around, even attempted to rise on his tiptoes before Kara pulled him down, and then shook his head.

“No, it’s too crowded,” he said…which was true. She pressed her lips together until an idea popped into her head. The dance floor. Yes, while the room was way too crowded to see anyone clearly, even though she wasn’t that short and was wearing heels, but the dance floor was free as there were only a couple of people there. If she and Mon-El get on there, then they could have a better look at the room, and find Eve.

It seemed like Mon-El had thought the same thing as they turned to each other. “The dance floor,” she muttered under her breath, seeing him nod almost immediately before a smile pulled his lips. At that Kara found herself wishing that he would stop smiling like that, because it was really, really hard to focus on the mission and not get distracted.

“Well, then, Agent Danvers,” he whispered in a way that made Kara shudder as he extended his hand towards her. “Would you like to dance with me?” She found herself laughing at his theatrics as she took his hand gently, letting him lead her to the dance floor. Her hands immediately found their way around his shoulders as he pulled her close, wrapping his own arms around her waist. She felt her breath caught at that, at how close they were standing together, at the way their chests were flushed…

She pushed away those thoughts as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, glancing up at him. “Do you know how to dance?” she asked as she turned him around slowly, her eyes skimming over the crowd, lingering on blond heads to see if one of them was Eve. She only turned back to Mon-El when he answered.

“Um… A little bit?” he admitted, and as if to prove his point he grabbed her waist with one arm tightly, lifted her up in the air and turned her around. His eyes shone with joy when the move brought a smile to Kara’s lips. It was just…so easy to smile around him. “You?” he asked a couple of seconds later, his eyes focusing on a spot above Kara’s head briefly. She assumed he was looking for Eve too.

“I know how to dance,” she admitted as she took a step to the right, adjusting their position once more to check another part of the room. “It was part of CIA training.” As an agent specialized in undercover mission, she had to know a wide range of things to blend in to whatever crowd she was sent in.

Mon-El froze at that and pulled back with surprise, a frown forming on his face. “They teach you how to dance in CIA?” She just shrugged at that nonchalantly before flashing him a smile. She dropped her hand from his shoulder to his arm, moving it over to his hand.

“Follow my lead,” she whispered in his ear as she pulled him to the middle of the dance floor. Her mind and instincts took care of the rest. In a matter of seconds her steps were aligned to the rhythm of the music, which was neither too fast nor too slow. She chose a simple dance that Mon-El could follow, and he did that beautifully too. When she squeezed his hand, signaling him to twirl her around he did it, pulling her closer at the end as his hand found its way to her waist. When she needed him to lean her back so that she could swing her hair, she wrapped her leg around his while pushing back, and he followed suit. When she needed him to turn her around and hug her from behind she took ahold of both of his hands, and he understood without missing a beat. He was not only following her steps but also adding a bit of himself to the dance, like the way his fingers traced her arm, or the way his hand traveled on her back, or how he pulled her just a bit closer than intended, so much so that their chests were flushed most of the time. In the beginning of the dance Kara deliberately turned them around to certain places to look for Eve, her mind also noting the security cameras and guards located around the room as she’d been doing from the moment they entered, yet midway through the song she’d forgotten all of them as she lost herself in the dance and Mon-El. The room disappeared around them when she looked at his eyes, wondering how they looked so beautiful even behind his glasses, or when she felt his body touching her in places she’d forgotten that existed, making her feel like she was set on fire. She was breathing heavily, her hair falling around her shoulders in messy curls, and she was pretty sure that sweat was coating her body too, yet she didn’t care. She _couldn’t_ care. All she cared about was the fact that she was here with Mon-El, she was in his arms, and just how much she’d missed this. She’d missed being with him. She’d never let herself admit that before, as it would lead to way too many complications she did not want to deal with, yet now…as Mon-El held her close…as his fingers brushed her bare skin…as she shuddered in his arms…she realized that those feelings she so desperately tried to forget weren’t gone. Not at all. They still lingered, they were still there, and being so close to him flared them up. She almost reveled in that sensation as he pulled her close once more, catching him with his arms and wrapping them around her waist. Her hands found their places on his shoulders almost immediately.

She was so lost in him, in her pounding heart and the desire coursing through her veins that she realized the song had ended way too late. Yet she also realized, when she finally managed to pull herself together, that Mon-El wasn’t in much of a different place. He was out of breath too as he stared down at her, his lips parted, his grey eyes dark and full of desire. She shuddered again…until instinct took over her body. A spy instinct that was drilled in her with years and years of training. And suddenly she was pulled back into mission as her eyes flickered to a spot behind Mon-El, only to see a very familiar face and blond curls. There was no way she wouldn’t recognize her.

Eve Tessmacher.

And she was staring right at _them_.

Her stomach coiled with fear at that as she looked back at Mon-El. They needed a distraction, right now, as she realized Eve wasn’t the only one staring at them. They needed to get the attention off of them, or she needed to find a way to hide her face, because if Eve kept looking she was bound to recognize her, realize that CIA was here and flee…and they couldn’t have that.

The idea hit her in the head right at that second. She didn’t even have time to question that, or consider whether it would be appropriate or not considering the position she and Mon-El was in, before she turned to him.

“Kiss me,” she almost ordered, tightening her grip on his shoulders and leaning in. Kissing always made people uncomfortable, so much so that they tended to look away at that. Even Kara looked away when she saw someone kissing, and she was trained as a spy. If they kissed, they might be able to distract Eve enough that she wouldn’t recognize Kara.

Mon-El snapped out of his stupor with her words, his eyes widening almost immediately. Kara could feel that his heart was slamming against his ribs as their chests were flushed.

“Wha-What?” he almost choked out as he looked at Kara. She pressed her lips together. She didn’t have time for his hesitation.

“Eve is looking. Kiss me.” Mon-El blinked, as if he couldn’t process her words, before she sighed exasperatedly. She pushed away every bit of doubt, hesitation, and common sense as she took his face in her hands and reached up, pressing her lips harshly on his.

She had to admit, she’d thought too many times in the last few years what it would be like to kiss him again, to feel his lips on hers, to have him run his fingers through her hair again as he tugged her close… Yet none of those dreams had gotten close to what she was feeling now. Her eyes fluttered close without her intention, no matter how much she tried to keep them open, and she found herself getting lost in him once more. She even forgot why she kissed him in the first place as she moved her hand from his cheek to his hair, tugging at the strands to pull him close.

Mon-El’s lips parted a couple of seconds as he finally managed to shake away the shock of the situation, probably realizing that Kara was kissing him. She momentarily thought that he’d push her away, that the last thing he’d want would be to get into a relationship with her again considering what had happened the last time, yet as he reached up to grab the nape of her neck… All he did was pull her up from her waist until they were the same height and their chests were flushed, and run his fingers through her hair. Kara forgot everything and everyone, including her mission and the fact that they were in public, when she heard a small moan coming from him. That urged her on even more. She wrapped one arm around his shoulders and rose on her tiptoes, sucking on his lower lip, reveling in the fire that was coursing through her veins, reveling in the feeling of his arms around her and his lips on hers, reveling in the sensations and feelings she never felt in a long, long time. She’d missed this. She’d missed this _so damn much._

Which was probably why it took her a bit of time to pull back, and it was only because she was out of breath, not because she remembered the mission or anything. She rested her forehead against his as she struggled to breathe, her fingers wrapped around the collar of his jacket. Her eyes fluttered open seconds later to look at his reaction.

He hadn’t even opened his eyes, not even when she pulled away, and only stood there with his lips parted. This time Kara was sure she could feel his heart pounding, and she knew that he was just as affected by the kiss as her from the way he was holding onto her waist and the nape of her neck tightly, as if he was afraid to let go. Her eyes flickered to his lips when he gulped, pressing them together, and she realized… She wanted to kiss him again. And again. And again—

_Eve._

The logical part of her mind interrupted her thoughts at that, supplying her an image of Eve in the gala, almost urging her to step back and focus on the mission. Because she had a mission to complete. Because this…this thing between her and Mon-El was nothing but a show. It couldn’t be anything but a show to Eve, so that she wouldn’t notice a CIA agent was there.

She forced herself to focus on that as her eyes traveled around the room again. She didn’t even look at Mon-El when she felt his eyes flutter open, afraid that she might get lost in the grey of them and blow everything up. She really needed to find Eve before… Voila! She caught her leaving the room through a door at the last second, her blond hair fluttering behind her.

That was only when she turned to Mon-El, making up her mind. “Eve went through that door.” She gestured the door at him, ignoring her pounding heart. It took him a couple of seconds to process her words as he blinked, and another couple of seconds to look at the door. She pressed her lips together as she continued. “Bring her outside through the backdoor.”

That was the last thing she said when she pushed him away, got out of his arms, and strolled to the front door, trying desperately…and unsuccessfully…to calm her body’s reaction to what just happened.

* * *

Kara could feel her heart stuttering in her chest as she stopped her car in front of the very familiar building. It was…a very impulsive decision on her part to come here, especially considering what had happened between her and Mon-El last night, not just the dance and the kiss—which she still couldn’t get out of her mind—but afterwards. When he brought Eve to the backdoor and she knocked her out. He’d asked to talk to her, _of course_ he did, about what just happened. He was shaken, that was obvious. Kara could see that his cheeks were tinted red, his hair was messy, and no matter how much he tried to hide it his hands were shaking. Especially when he asked her why she kissed him.

_Why did you kiss me?_ The vulnerability and hope were so audible in his voice, so visible on his face that it almost crushed Kara’s heart, knowing…knowing she couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that she’d _wanted_ to kiss him. She couldn’t tell him that she enjoyed the dance way more than she was supposed to, so much so that she’d almost forgotten about the mission. She couldn’t tell him that…that she liked him, she _still_ liked him even after five years, and there was a good chance she’d never stop liking him. She couldn’t…because she couldn’t have a romantic relationship with anyone. Not when she would have to travel all the time because of her missions. Not when she’d have to change her identity and her personality almost every month. Not when…she could die any time, in any mission, which would only lead to pain and heartbreak in Mon-El’s side.

There was a reason it was said that spies didn’t have relationships. Not because they didn’t want to or they were as cold and hard as anyone suspected…but because they _knew_ they couldn’t. Even if they loved someone with everything they had, they couldn’t.

So that was why she’d lied to Mon-El when he asked that question. _I needed a distraction,_ she’d told him, _so that Eve wouldn’t notice I was a CIA agent. Kissing in public make people uncomfortable enough to look away._

That was all she could say about that topic before she left, getting a cab to her hotel room, pretending like Eve had passed out from too much drink. And then she’d immediately dropped her off at a CIA base.

That should’ve been it. Once that was taken care of, Kara should’ve left. She knew, technically, that she still had a couple more days to stay at the hotel—she’d never thought she’d complete the mission in one day—but that didn’t matter. She should’ve returned to the headquarters and asked to be assigned to another mission…

And yet she was here, in front of Bleuler Psychological Treatment Facility, to see Mon-El. To talk to him. Because their dance and kiss weren’t the only things about that night she couldn’t forget. Because she could still remember the absolutely heartbroken look that appeared on his face when she told him that what happened between them was nothing but a mission. _Again._ Just like she did all those years ago.

Even though it wasn’t even close to the truth.

If she had to be honest, she had no idea what to say to him. But it seemed like… It seemed like her brain threw all common sense out of the window when it came to him, and she found herself unable to let go. She’d… She’d never felt anything like this about anyone in her life, even though she’d pretended to be in love with people way too many times to count. This was…different. Mon-El was different… _special._ In a way that she never wanted to leave, forget, or let go.

No matter how impossible that might be.

Before changing her mind and just leaving she got out of the car and started walking to the facility. She’d only realized that she was holding her breath when slight dizziness came over her, and she forced herself to breathe, to just _breathe._ It would be okay. She’d just go in there and thank him for his contributions to the mission. She’d use it as an excuse to see him one more time. That would be it. She didn’t have to involve her feelings—any kind of feelings—into the conversation if she didn’t want to.

Yet even that didn’t calm her pounding heart as she stopped in front of the reception. Even the relief from the receptionist not being Roxanne couldn’t calm her down.

“Hi,” she told the receptionist, who looked way too utterly bored for the beginning of work time as he lifted his head. Kara flashed him a smile…which he promptly chose to ignore as he straightened up.

“How can I help you?” With that question Kara took a deep breath, trying to gather up her courage.

“I’m here to se Dr. Matthews,” she said, making sure her voice sounded as forceful as possible. “I saw that he didn’t have any appointments at this hour—“

“I’m sorry, miss,” the receptionist interrupted her before she could finish. “Dr. Matthews only sees patients with appointments.” Kara had to bite back a curse at the man’s completely ignorant tone. She just took a deep breath.

“I’m not a patient, I’m a… _friend,_ ” she said, trying not to cringe at the word. “Tell him…Kara Danvers came, and he’ll let me in.” _Hopefully._ With her words the receptionist looked over at Kara for a couple of minutes more before picking up the phone and calling, who she truly hoped, was Mon-El and not the police.

“Dr. Matthews.” She had only one second to relax when the receptionist said that until he continued. “There is a woman here who wants to see you. She claims to be a… _friend.”_ Kara winced at those words as the receptionist stopped, listening for a couple of seconds. “She says her name is Kara Danvers.”

The silence in the room was almost deafening after those words. At least that was how it felt to Kara. Every second that the man waited, listening to the phone without saying anything her heart rate sped up, so much so that by the time he said the last words she almost felt dizzy. “I’m sending her right in.”

Kara let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. Well, at the very least Mon-El hadn’t refused her outright. That was a good sign. Right?

“Dr. Matthews is waiting for you.” She was so lost in her thoughts, and a glimmer of hope that told her that Mon-El wanted to see her, that she jumped with the receptionist’s words. It took her a second to pull herself together, but then she nodded fervently and made her way to his office. Her grip around the strap of her bag was so tight that she was pretty sure her knuckles had tightened.

This time she tentatively knocked on the door before pushing it open. She only extended her head inside at first.

Only to see that Mon-El was already looking at the door, and their gazes met instantaneously. She felt air getting hitched in her throat at that. He’d taken off his glasses, which now rested on his desk in front of him, so she could see his eyes oh-so clearly.

The first thing she noticed was the dullness of their grey. They shone so brightly yesterday that now…it caught her off guard…even though it shouldn’t have been a surprise. She still remembered how he’d looked like when he learnt their relationship was built on lies; this look was no different than that.

The second thing she noticed was that his eyes were tinted red. Not only that but they were slightly puffy, indicating a night of sleeplessness…and crying. She couldn’t help wincing at that.

The third thing she noticed was that there wasn’t an ounce of anger, hate, or disappointment in them. Heartbreak, yes. Pain, yes. But that was… That was it. Which probably surprised Kara more than anything else…

Along with the small smile that pulled his lips at the sight of her.

“Come in,” he said softly, so softly that it took Kara some time to recover from it and step inside. She guessed she wasn’t successful in hiding her surprise, because Mon-El chuckled right after the door closed behind her. “Why do you look so surprised?"

“I…” Kara struggled to find the right words for a couple of seconds. “I expected you to…to kick me out of your office,” she admitted finally. “Not…invite me in…with a smile.” Mon-El gaped at her at that for a couple of seconds before he laughed again. It was such a beautiful sound, so carefree, that Kara couldn’t stop the fluttering in her chest. He shook his head.

“I would’ve probably done that if it was five years ago,” he said as he gestured Kara to sit down. She didn’t take her eyes off of him as she moved to the chair. “But now I know you’ve done nothing wrong.” He shrugged almost nonchalantly, yet the way he frowned gave it away that he wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted her to think. “We were on a mission, Kara, and we were acting like boyfriend girlfriend. The dancing and…and the kissing…” Kara didn’t miss the way his shoulders tensed at the last word. “It was a smart way to find Eve and hide from her.” Kara would’ve been able to smile at the fact that he understood…if not for the fake smile he flashed her way. She pressed her lips together and clasped her hands in front of her.

“I just… I don’t want you to think that I used you,” she said before looking up. He just frowned at that, with confusion flickering in his eyes. He shook his head.

“You didn’t,” he reassured her. There was such honesty in his eyes that Kara had no choice but to believe him, even though she couldn’t help thinking that what she did…kissing him and then pretending like it meant nothing to her…was _exactly_ like using him. “You were…brilliant,” he continued, taking her by surprise. “Kara, you managed to capture Eve without causing any problem or without being recognized in less than a day. I might not know much about spy work, but I count that a successful mission.” He offered her a reassuring smile, even going as far as leaning forward and squeezing her shoulder. Kara forced back the tears threatening to fill her eyes as she looked at him, wondering how someone could be this kind, understanding… _good._ He was just so _good._

She found herself smiling at him too as she shrugged. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” she confessed…which was probably true. He’d given her the perfect opportunity to get to Eve, on top of giving her one of the best nights she’d had in a long time. Even though there was a good chance they wouldn’t see each other again, ever, she’d always cherish its memory. Pride flickered in her chest when he smiled at her words. “Which is why I came here. Thank you so much, Mon-El, for what you’ve done when you didn’t have to. I can’t imagine how… _hard_ …it must’ve been.”

“Eh, it was fun,” he said with a shrug and winked at her. And despite herself Kara smiled again even feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. She distracted herself by pushing back her hair to keep Mon-El from noticing that and cleared her throat. It didn’t prove to be that hard anyway when she realized…it was time. This was what she came here for. To see him one last time and thank him. Now… Now she was supposed to go, leave him, forever, and with that thought… A heaviness settled over her. She had to clear her throat to get rid of the emotions clogging it as she stood up.

“Anyway, I should… I should go now before it’s too late. Don’t want to keep you from your work.” She forced out a chuckle that she so hoped sounded normal. She tried to ignore the way Mon-El’s face fell at her words. He nodded a bit too fervently.

“Yeah, yeah.” He offered her another small smile, yet it didn’t reach his eyes. “Bye, Kara.” At that Kara’s chest squeezed as it sounded too much like a goodbye… _forever_.

Even her years of spy training wasn’t enough to keep her voice from trembling as she said the next words. “Bye, Mon-El.” And she turned around to leave, blinking desperately to keep her tears at bay…

Until Mon-El’s voice stopped her. “Kara?” She immediately turned around a bit too quickly and enthusiastically for her liking.

“Hm?”

“Can I…” Mon-El struggled with his words as he pressed his lips together, causing Kara to tense. She tried to mask that with a blank expression. “Can I ask you something? If you…promise to answer it honestly?” Her stomach dropped at that, because she knew, after those words… His question would be a hard one. Yet she found herself nodding. She at least owed him that.

Mon-El cleared his throat yet again and clasped his hands together before he continued. “You said that five years ago… There was something real between us,” he started slowly, deliberately. Kara didn’t even think she was breathing when he looked up at her. “How much of our relationship was real, and not…not about your mission?” She was pretty sure he’d held her breath at that. For a couple of seconds she didn’t know what to say, struggling with her thoughts and feelings, wondering whether she should really be honest or not. But then…the truth left her lips.

“At first…none,” she said, not being able to stop her voice from shaking. Mon-El shut his eyes painfully at that, at least until she continued. “In the last few weeks…all of it.” She was whispering by that point, afraid that she’d start crying if she talked louder. She watched as Mon-El’s eyes snapped open, looking at her widely. She flashed him a tearful smile. “And yesterday… It was all real too.” She bit her lip, trying not to think about whether confessing all that was a good idea or not. Yet before she could decide that, before she could do anything, Mon-El cut in.

“Have dinner with me.” She froze with that, feeling her eyes widen.

“What?” she choked out, not being able to stop a breathless chuckle from leaving her lips. Mon-El gulped.

“Have dinner with me,” he repeated, his eyes never leaving hers. “You… You still have a couple of days here, right?” Kara only absentmindedly nodded at that. “Then have dinner with me. Tonight.” He stopped for a second as he searched her face. “ _Please_.”

Kara could feel her heart slamming against her ribs as she stared at him. _Yes,_ a part of her mind was whispering to her, urging her to say yes. _Yes._ And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to say yes, because…she wanted it so damn much that it almost hurt. She wanted to go on a dinner date with Mon-El. She wanted to spend the night with _him_. She wanted to hold his hand, hug him, kiss him, have sex with him. She wanted to have a romantic relationship with him…again…for real this time.

But she couldn’t. Not just because she was a spy, but he…he deserved much better girlfriend than someone who’d have to leave frequently, who’d have to pretend to be in love with others, who’d have to put her life at risk almost on a weekly basis. He deserved a normal, stable relationship…and she couldn’t give him that.

“Mon-El, we…” she croaked finally, not knowing how to say no. Panic flared in his eyes at that.

“It doesn’t have to be a long term thing,” he interrupted immediately. “It doesn’t have to last, Kara. I just… I just want one night. One date.” He pressed his lips together. “Please?” He was looking at her with such hope, such…affection that she couldn’t say no to him. Not again.

Besides, how could a one time thing hurt anyway?

“Yes,” she said a couple of seconds later, her already pounding heart skipping a beat when Mon-El blinked at that at first, and then a grin spread on his face. “Yes, I’ll have dinner with you. Tonight.” She held her breath, shutting up the logical voice in her mind that said this would only hurt more later. Right now she wanted it…and that was all that mattered.

Besides, she couldn’t help thinking that it might be worth it when she saw his smile. “Good,” he whispered with a nod. “Good.”

“Yeah.” Kara bit down on her lip, shoving away all her doubts as she offered him a small smile. “I’ll… I’ll see you tonight then. How about…seven?” Mon-El nodded a bit too excitedly.

“Seven is good.” His smile was big enough to illuminate the whole room and make Kara’s chest flutter. “Bye, Kara,” he said, repeating his words from earlier, but this time… This time they weren’t a final goodbye. This time they promised a reunion… _happiness._

“Bye, Mon-El,” Kara found herself saying too before she left, and not even her doubts managed to erase the smile plastered on her face.


End file.
